Coping Differently, but Together

                This week we discussed many of the challenges that come with trying to cope with stress as a whole family. One of the point that was brought out that I really appreciated was that individual family members cope with things differently. As I’ve started studying how children cope with things I can see this to be very true. For the most part kids are very resilient. I remember when my sister died my parents asked me if I wanted to go to school the next day. I was very sad about my sister passing and for a moment staying at home with my family sounded like a great idea, but then my child desires kicked in as I thought about all the things I would miss at recess staying at home. I chose to go to school. This could have come across as insensitive to an adult, because it’s not the same way many of us would cope, but it truly wasn’t what I needed as a child.

                We can cope ahead by thinking about how others in our family cope with stress. This can start with seeing how they deal with even the little day to day stressors from the way we do. Elder Hales, a member of the quorum of the twelve apostles, suggested that while dating we take note of how our potential partner deals with stress. This can help us know if they deal with it in a way we can handle. It can also help us see how we could react in a constructive way to their coping.

                If we accept that everyone in our family will cope differently and act respectfully to those differences we can actually come closer together as a whole.