Emotional Affairs

                This week in class we talked about different aspects of intimacy in marriage. We also read about different kinds of affairs that can occur in a marriage. Yes, there can be more than the obvious. I think sometimes the reason why there are so many divorces today is because we are not aware of or do not accept that there can be multiple types of affairs. Yet the effects are the same, they all damage marriage by ruining trust and fidelity. One common kind of affair that I see often in movies is emotional affairs. An emotional affair is when one partner goes to someone besides their spouse for emotional support. One Christian movie that shows how easy it can be to slip into an emotional affair is called “Fireproof”. When things get hard within the marriage it was much easier for the wife to turn to a co-worker that seemed to care more about her life than her husband. Many times the media can make these types of affairs or the things that lead up to them appear as no big deal. In fact they even romanticize them. The harsh truth is these emotional affairs are very destructive and are often not satisfying. I really appreciated this list of things we can do to prevent emotional affairs in our relationships.

Wise Walls

•  Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours their heart out to you.

•  Don’t share the most painful things of your soul with an attractive alternative.

This develops deep levels of intimacy.

•  If a conversation makes light of marriage, respond with something positive about

your own marriage.

•  Discuss marital issues with your spouse. Work on the problems at home. If you do

need to talk to someone else about your marriage, be sure they are a friend of the

marriage.

•  Don’t have lunch or take work breaks with same person all the time.

•  When you travel with a co-worker, meet in the public rooms, not in a room with a

bed.

•  If an old boyfriend or girlfriend is going to be at a class reunion, make sure you

bring your spouse along.

•  If you value your marriage, don’t do lunch alone with an old flame.

•  Don’t try to be cute or “flirty” with anyone other than your spouse.

•  Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone.

(INFIDELITY: PROTECTING OUR MARRIAGES. Scott Gardner & Christian Greiner)

Putting these boundaries around our marriage can save our families and prevent unnecessary pain.