Five Principles of Family Councils

            I really enjoyed reading Elder Russel M. Ballard’s talk, “Strength in Councils” during this week’s focus on family councils. Our whole church on every level is based on methods of counseling so that we can come to know God’s will because He is the ultimate authority.  These principles can even be brought down to the family level if we take time as a family to meet and discuss important topics with the intent of coming to consensus. In his talk Elder Ballard identified five key elements of successful families.

First, focus on fundamentals.

            I have found this to be a true principle in other areas of my life like practicing music, so I was interested to see how this could apply to family councils. Keeping a focus in general in councils can have a big impact because staying on task can determine if you ever do make it to a unified decision.

Second, focus on people.

            I loved being in ward councils on my mission where the focus was helping other people. I think in families if we go into our decision making with the perspective of how can this help the other members of my family we will be more humble. It also brings a mutual purpose that we can be unified under.

Third, promote free and open expression.

            This principle is taught in the scriptures and also by just about every communication specialist. If we want to end in a real consensus we need to know everyone’s thoughts and feelings. If we don’t end in consensus we may not have everyone’s total support when it’s time for action. We may also miss some very important spiritual insights.

And finally promoting free expression from everyone shows love and concern for individual family members.

 Fourth, participation is a privilege. 

Elder Ballard emphasized the point that in these kinds of meetings it is our responsibility to be prepared, share, and advocate vigorously the position you believe to be right. In order for this to even be possible in family councils we need to have an agenda prepared in advance. If that is too organized, we should at least make sure that when big topics need to be addressed everyone has time to prepare.

Fifth, lead with love. 

            I think this particular point ties well back to the scripture we talked about in class. D&C 121 43-44 explain that we should reprove, “betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.” Emotions can be very strong during these councils and so showing love is extremely important.